Have a Super Sunday

Today is Super Bowl Sunday, commemorating the playing of Super Bowl XXXLCMIV. I am observing this holiday by inviting 374 of my drunkenest college-educated friends over. To avoid the usual frenzy at the supermarket, I did all my shopping yesterday, but even so I had to knock over two elderly men to grab the last 13 cases of Budweiser off the shelf. I bought a 25-pound bag of potato chips, and the batch of guacamole I made is so big that FDA agents have already visited my house 3 times for health violations and made me issue a recall.